This was a 25-minute chat I had with my wife about her observations of living with a trader and other topics that came up. You can also go to YouTube to see the video.
[00:00:02] Hello, Pear. Welcome, Brad, to your own podcast. And I'm your wife, Katherine Jelinek. So this is a funny little special, everybody, because Brad is going to be interviewed on a big trading podcast and it's going to be a video interview.
[00:00:20] And video interviews are a little bit more a part of my life, usually, doing the work I do with the Skinny Platform.
[00:00:28] But today, we're having just a conversation. It's not really an interview as much as a conversation about trading and marriage. So go ahead, Brad.
[00:00:38] Brad needs some practice on the video stuff.
[00:00:41] Yeah. It's not always.
[00:00:44] So I think it probably could be interesting because we never talk about the other person who watches me go through this.
[00:00:52] And we've been married for, we've known each other for, was it like 14, 15 years?
[00:00:57] Yeah, we met in 2010.
[00:00:59] Yeah. So you've seen me go through a lot of shit up and down. You've seen kind of the low times and the good times.
[00:01:06] And you've seen kind of all the different things.
[00:01:11] Noticing like the babysitter buying crypto and then seeing it happen and then also having a hard time unwinding the positions and acting that out.
[00:01:21] And we've talked about, we've done a lot of work on handling difficult times in life, both of us have.
[00:01:28] And you've had to see me go through all kinds of stuff. Specifically, 2022 was a hard one for me.
[00:01:34] So what do you think, since you've known me, just an observation for other traders, not just about me, but how do you think it works when I gracefully handle a bad streak versus when I don't?
[00:01:48] I'm going to take these out because it's actually not piping in through this.
[00:01:51] Um, how does it work when you gracefully handle a bad streak versus when you don't?
[00:01:57] I think when you gracefully handle a bad streak, we don't even notice.
[00:02:02] So unfortunately, in a way, unfortunately, like you don't even really get full credit that you deserve for those.
[00:02:11] Um, and then I think on the other side of that, um, when you don't do it, it's, it's very,
[00:02:21] it's noticeable, um, emotionally the vibe in the house can feel it.
[00:02:26] It's slightly disruptive, but I mean, each person in a family and in a house is going to be emotionally disruptive to the household once in a while.
[00:02:35] So it's not like it's something that shouldn't be happening.
[00:02:38] Um, but yeah, it's kind of unfair because when you do really well, we just don't notice.
[00:02:46] And that's.
[00:02:48] Yeah.
[00:02:49] Yeah.
[00:02:49] You know, I think one thing I could offer maybe as helpful to other people who have to do this around a family or be in the house with others like, like we're doing is I got a separate office just recently.
[00:03:01] And I've had one in the past, but it really helps because there's that time where you, you just need a little decompression between the end of your day and getting home to see everybody.
[00:03:11] And in that time, you can kind of go through it and handle yourself and switch environments.
[00:03:15] But when you're bleeding in from one environment to the other in the same house, it can be really tough to put it away.
[00:03:21] And you can eat, you can stir up somebody else because everyone feels that energy in the house when it's not going well, or when there's something happened that you didn't think was fair or it's just part of part of the job.
[00:03:31] And I think this could go with any job, but having that, that time to get out on a walk or whatever, before you go and meet everybody else has been so useful for me.
[00:03:40] And I think probably for you guys.
[00:03:42] So I think it's the division of church and state.
[00:03:44] And I think it's even more important now that we have, Brad, we have like a three-year-old and a five-year-old, two boys.
[00:03:51] And I think it was even important when we were living in Chicago and just young married people, because it's important to have two lives, a reason to put clothes on, you know, other people you run into, other routines and rituals in your day.
[00:04:05] And what was the difference for you? Because you've had offices that worked and offices that didn't, both here and there.
[00:04:13] And like, what's the difference between them? Because it sucks to like get a lease and sign and, you know, get committed and then realize that you're just going to end up staying home and you've done both.
[00:04:25] Like, what's the big difference?
[00:04:27] I just think you have to have a high level of convenience with anything.
[00:04:30] And that's why real estate does well when their convenience is high, because if the gym is, or like we walk to that forest preserve a lot and walk in the woods and we can walk there.
[00:04:39] If we had to drive to that forest preserve, it's almost like it might not as well be by us because it's not.
[00:04:44] And this is the forest preserve near our house. Yeah.
[00:04:46] Right. So I think with the office, it's got to be something that's close enough.
[00:04:50] Like I have a 10 minute drive, super doable.
[00:04:52] I have a good coffee area next to me.
[00:04:54] So it's kind of fun to walk and take a break.
[00:04:55] I can walk to food options and it's just easy that way.
[00:05:00] It's not the, the bar is low to get there.
[00:05:03] And it's a alternative environment.
[00:05:05] When I go to an office, it's like, okay, I'm, I take myself more seriously.
[00:05:09] I dress different.
[00:05:10] And when you're at home, you just, you sit in your sweatpants all day.
[00:05:13] You don't shower.
[00:05:14] You I'm playing with the kids.
[00:05:16] I'm back to work.
[00:05:17] I'm, you know, you and I are handling something and that's, that's good to have that lifestyle for maybe a day or two a week.
[00:05:24] But it does, it picks away at you, I think in the big picture.
[00:05:27] And your wife interrupts you to, you know, please do the dishes.
[00:05:30] Please take the kid out to the bus stop.
[00:05:31] Please watch Caden while I go get changed, take a shower or whatever.
[00:05:35] That's part of it though.
[00:05:36] I mean, I love, I love having the freedom part of doing trading is that you can have the freedom to do that stuff, which is great.
[00:05:41] But I think setting yourself up in a professional environment to have a break is from all that is super important.
[00:05:48] And it might cost you some money, but I've learned that that's important.
[00:05:52] Okay, Brad.
[00:05:53] So to the nasty guts of it, like how can a partnership, a marriage make you a better trader and how, and what do we need to do to make sure it doesn't add to becoming a worse trader?
[00:06:06] Like what, what does marriage have to do with your trading?
[00:06:10] Um, it depends on your partner.
[00:06:12] Like you and I have a more of a spiritual partnership in a lot of ways.
[00:06:15] So we can talk about how it makes you grow.
[00:06:18] Why are you really doing this?
[00:06:20] Excuse me.
[00:06:21] Why are you really doing this?
[00:06:22] I mean, obviously for money and freedom, but another reason you're doing it is, is that learning how to handle life better.
[00:06:28] And the writing out the ups and downs of justification for you worked hard, but you didn't get paid on your idea or comparison to others.
[00:06:37] And, um, you know, the apathy, you can feel the, all the things that come up, the emotions, the scarcity, the fear, uh, the euphoria, the abundance.
[00:06:48] I think trading presses all those buttons.
[00:06:51] And as you handle those things and you get used to them, you become a stronger person.
[00:06:54] You're better at your relationships.
[00:06:55] You're better at everything you do in your life because you're, you have to continually face that.
[00:07:00] And at some larger level, that's why I think I do it.
[00:07:04] And of course the money and the freedom and all that is a big part of it.
[00:07:08] Playing a game, not having to work a normal job.
[00:07:10] Everyone wants that, but people who, when I, at the firm in Chicago, I was with people who came for the money never lasted.
[00:07:17] And the smartest people necessarily didn't last.
[00:07:19] It was the people who, amongst other things.
[00:07:21] I mean, this is a little more into the spiritual personal realm right now.
[00:07:24] So we can talk about discipline and hard work and trading, you know, passion.
[00:07:28] But on the other side, just wanting to develop yourself as a person and continually wanting to pursue that path.
[00:07:34] I think is a, you'll find that a lot of good traders are very deep that way because they've had to develop that.
[00:07:40] They want to, to think through things at a deep level and that makes you better at everything.
[00:07:46] And if you're not doing that, then it's just about the money and these emotions that pop up in trading.
[00:07:51] You're not tying into other areas in your life.
[00:07:53] And if you're not doing that, you're not really growing from what you're doing.
[00:07:56] I love that.
[00:07:57] I love that about you.
[00:07:58] And I love that about all the guys that you're close with who are longer term traders or investors or in the financial market related business one way or another.
[00:08:08] But they're some of the deepest, most genuine and kind people.
[00:08:13] And I feel like it's just kind of funny from the outside.
[00:08:15] People who don't really know many traders might assume something very different about a trading persona, something they've seen on TV, like Wolf of Wall Street or whatever.
[00:08:25] But yeah, you are a surprise.
[00:08:28] It's been a pleasure being married to you.
[00:08:30] I've always said, you're like my accelerator because the minute I got married to Brad, everybody, it was like there was all these different diets to try and meditation techniques and workouts.
[00:08:42] It was like a crash course.
[00:08:43] And like he'd already thought through like many layers of all these different aspects of life.
[00:08:48] And most of this growth and development in all areas of life for Brad is coming from trading for him because he's always thinking about how to master himself better.
[00:09:00] How to be able to understand and navigate fight or flight better and his own triggered patterns of fear and scarcity and abundance and that kind of stuff.
[00:09:09] Or how to sit better at work, you know, to like optimal body positioning and posture and diet and all sorts of things.
[00:09:16] It's been really interesting to ride along and get to dive into each of these things with you, which is cool.
[00:09:24] And just an observation as your wife and as a wife of a trader, even though I don't really know, you know, love to hear about other wives of traders.
[00:09:35] But it's fun to get to also on the side, like we have a spiritual partnership.
[00:09:39] So in moments I get to be like a coach to you and shine back at you, the things I'm hearing and seeing.
[00:09:46] And when I'm able to observe, it's easy to see things and not, I don't have to know a lot about the market, but it's mostly about you and your own self-management, the emotions coming up in your energy and that kind of thing.
[00:09:59] Um, but the tough thing about marriage is that's not my job per se.
[00:10:06] And that sometimes I've got, we've got, you know, young kids and startups that I'm working on and things.
[00:10:12] And I don't always have the chance to be that person for you when it's needed.
[00:10:16] And that's the other hard part, um, kind of some of the rub I think is there's like a huge benefit to being deeply connected and being able to be there for that.
[00:10:26] And then there's also moments that are missed because it's life.
[00:10:30] Yeah.
[00:10:32] Excuse the cough.
[00:10:33] Thanks for all that.
[00:10:34] That's great.
[00:10:34] Um, yeah.
[00:10:36] I mean, I, I think that, that, that goes both ways with both of us.
[00:10:40] And that's one reason why we're, we're together.
[00:10:43] I guess we enjoy.
[00:10:44] Yeah, we do.
[00:10:46] I think a lot of other people though, that listen to my podcast and I've listened to a lot of other podcasts and talk to a ton of traders.
[00:10:54] I think they, they also have a lot of these things going on in their life, but I don't really know that we talk about any of this stuff much like the home life and.
[00:11:04] Handling little kids and guests visiting like over the holidays, your parents visited for a week.
[00:11:10] And I mean, I was in a great routine before holidays and I felt like I was exercising, working out well, eating well.
[00:11:17] And then all of a sudden I didn't really want to leave, but I had the holidays and we had family time, which was great.
[00:11:22] And with your, your folks stayed for a week.
[00:11:24] And all of a sudden, two weeks later, we got sick from the kids.
[00:11:26] I'm still coughing a little bit.
[00:11:28] Yeah.
[00:11:28] I'm congested.
[00:11:30] Totally thrown out of the routine.
[00:11:32] Excuse me.
[00:11:35] Just it's frustrating.
[00:11:36] And then you can feel emotions come up where you're like, man, I got to go back in.
[00:11:40] I don't feel like it.
[00:11:40] I'm just totally out of it now.
[00:11:42] And when I was trading before all the family stuff, I never had that as much.
[00:11:45] It was just like, I would go right in and do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it.
[00:11:50] Cancel the weekend.
[00:11:51] I'm going to study charts, order flow, read books.
[00:11:54] None of it matters.
[00:11:55] It's just about me.
[00:11:56] But when it's not just about me now, it's the same passion and obsession and all that thing is there.
[00:12:00] But it's kind of like, it's governed by this other part of my life, which is super important.
[00:12:05] But it's sometimes like the, it bubbles up that you want to work on this all the time and you just have constraints.
[00:12:09] You can't.
[00:12:10] So you have to learn to, you get more effective, more efficient.
[00:12:14] Your routines tighten up.
[00:12:15] You waste less time.
[00:12:16] And I think that's where the office comes in, getting out of the house a little bit.
[00:12:19] And that's been the path that I've had to take.
[00:12:22] And it's not, it's some trial and error to get there.
[00:12:25] Yeah.
[00:12:26] Well, I think our situation, we're lucky in a lot of ways or whatever.
[00:12:32] It's just like a positive, a giant positive is that you, we didn't meet until you were already,
[00:12:37] you know, 29.
[00:12:39] And you had, had a chance to really lay a foundation for yourself as a trader.
[00:12:44] You had a chance to trade without any responsibilities or people to take care of.
[00:12:48] You had a chance to like be risky and get used to being that way.
[00:12:53] So that when another person was a part of your life and then eventually a family, you, there was already such a foundation, such a base and such a knowing this is how I am as a trader.
[00:13:03] So you're really fortunate in that way.
[00:13:04] I know you traded with a lot of other guys who that wasn't the case and having that family background, you know, to provide for while they were trading had a big effect on, you know, their style has like having a family changed your style, Brad.
[00:13:20] No, because I started trading when I was, I mean, really a teenage years, but professionally, excuse me, professionally out of college.
[00:13:31] I got the job at the prop firm and I had no, no, nobody to depend on.
[00:13:37] Nobody, nobody was depending on me is what I mean to say.
[00:13:39] So it was just kind of like get roommates.
[00:13:42] The rent is cheap and do this.
[00:13:44] I didn't have a plan B.
[00:13:45] It was just always plan A.
[00:13:46] Like, this is what I want to do since I was a little kid and I'm going to make this work.
[00:13:49] I have extreme focus and there's nothing else I want to do, but make this work.
[00:13:53] And I remember going home just, you know, my mid twenties and tears almost in the car, just with the disappointment of not catching a trade and having a really long losing streak and watching others do it.
[00:14:03] And just feeling like shit about myself.
[00:14:05] And that's when the emotions were really wild.
[00:14:08] And then you get better when you get older at, at smoothing them out and handling them.
[00:14:11] And eventually you look at it like, well, why did I miss the trade?
[00:14:15] Because I traded too big because I was too sure.
[00:14:16] And I got over my skis and my risk.
[00:14:18] And now when I miss a trade, I don't get as upset because I know that it's something that I did wrong.
[00:14:23] And it's a different way of looking at it, maturity in that phase.
[00:14:26] But the other thing I wanted to bring up is lifestyle management.
[00:14:29] I hear a lot of people talking about risk management, but for me, yeah, risk management is important, but I have lifestyle management, which is what I've employed more.
[00:14:38] Which means my lifestyle.
[00:14:39] Now our lifestyle is well under our means.
[00:14:43] And it was always under my means when I was on my own.
[00:14:45] So I was always paying for houses and cash.
[00:14:49] That's not necessary for everybody, but no debt, completely free and clear.
[00:14:54] And yeah, that's not always the best use for the money, but it gave me the freedom to know that that's the ultimate fallback is if something happens, I'm going to be okay.
[00:15:02] Okay.
[00:15:02] So yeah, I have risk management in my trading, but I'm a little more loose and I can take more risk in my trading because my lifestyle is locked up to the point where it's not going to, nothing's going to break me in my trading accounts.
[00:15:16] And I worked my way into that.
[00:15:18] And that's been something that means I didn't have to change.
[00:15:21] When I had a family, I didn't really change that much about it.
[00:15:25] Right.
[00:15:25] I appreciate that security.
[00:15:26] That's like naturally has always been a natural part of how I've been in life with you.
[00:15:33] You know, the fact that like, there's never, yeah, we're never over our skis.
[00:15:37] It's just habitual at this point.
[00:15:40] Um, but I will, I will share and I think that this would be interesting to, to, you know, ping around with a bunch of other partners of traders if there ever was that chance.
[00:15:51] But, um, it can be hard in ways to be married to a trader on this side of things is that the financial desire for you to spend fluctuates based on how your trading's going.
[00:16:07] And that doesn't fluctuate for me the same way, you know, like there's like, I'm like, Hey, should we, uh, book this special vacation for our family in July?
[00:16:16] Uh, you know, we want to do something and, and we're, you know, can we just like earn into it?
[00:16:21] It's like, well, not really because we've got a plan for summer camps and all that starts in January, February.
[00:16:27] It's just can be tough riding along and knowing that it's really important to emotionally respect the trader and the flow of things and allowing like abundance.
[00:16:39] And pulling back to flow for the family in alignment with, you know, where it's going for you because you are the breadwinner.
[00:16:46] I'm, you know, I took several years off, but I've also been in startups and that's been my work.
[00:16:51] Um, but it can be challenging too, as a partner of a trader to have to figure out and manage, um, my expectations for spending as a household, even sometimes as an individual around the fluxes and flows of what's going on for, you know, for you as a trader.
[00:17:12] Yeah. And like, it really shouldn't be that way, but it just, the reality is emotionally, it is that way because when you're trading, you spend many years on yourself, just worrying about you manage your own system.
[00:17:24] So when you feel like I often would spend more money when I was struggling and then when I was doing well, I'm doing well.
[00:17:29] So I'm not thinking about spending money, which seems kind of backwards, but you kind of control all your finances and your lifestyle through the vehicle of your trading and your emotions.
[00:17:38] And then when you bring on a family or a partner, they have their needs and you're kind of like, man, I'm, I'm trading like shit.
[00:17:44] I don't want to spend money right now.
[00:17:46] Even if you have plenty of money in your savings, you just, you're not thinking about that.
[00:17:49] And then someone else might be in a totally different wavelength and you're so used to doing your own thing that it bleeds into like now it's everybody's thing.
[00:17:57] It's not just your thing.
[00:17:58] And I think that that's something that you just keep smoothing out over time and you get better at, like it's gotten way better with our family.
[00:18:04] But when we came on board together, it was like, yeah, it wasn't, it wasn't, it's like anyone getting married in their thirties or even forties and, and then having to share their life and house with somebody.
[00:18:15] And you're like, what is going on?
[00:18:16] I'm not used to it.
[00:18:17] It's a huge adjustment.
[00:18:18] Yeah.
[00:18:19] So I get that.
[00:18:21] No, I appreciate how you just worded it with, it's not just you anymore.
[00:18:26] I mean, it's not just yours.
[00:18:27] It's the households.
[00:18:29] It's a, it's a huge, I mean, I can imagine what an adjustment it is for you because you have to emotionally manage yourself even better to allow room for that.
[00:18:37] And to realize like, this is the natural part of life as a family.
[00:18:41] Yeah.
[00:18:41] But yeah, on that topic of managing emotionally myself better, it's not okay to repress the stuff that I'm managing.
[00:18:49] And that's the big takeaway I've gotten in the last few years, especially is me coming home, being a stoic robot and pretending not to, not to impact you guys isn't really doing me any good because that's going to come out at some point.
[00:19:01] So it's actually building a lifestyle and building the tools, learning to handle it myself so I can actually be okay and come home and be, I mean, I'm not day trading as much anymore.
[00:19:12] So it's more of the overall picture, but you know, it doesn't matter what you're doing.
[00:19:16] You're still going to get emotions that come up strong sometimes.
[00:19:19] And sometimes what does that actually look like?
[00:19:21] Like when shit's really happening and you're managing it and you're coming home to your family, how do you actually do that?
[00:19:27] What are you doing?
[00:19:28] I think it's telling yourself to think about the really big picture.
[00:19:32] So what helps me is I like Michael Singer.
[00:19:34] So I listened to him a lot.
[00:19:36] The really big picture is we're here for a short amount of time spinning around and in mostly blackness, right?
[00:19:41] On the planet.
[00:19:42] Yeah.
[00:19:43] Planet Earth.
[00:19:44] And nothing's really that big of a deal.
[00:19:45] So that, that actually helps me a lot to think that way.
[00:19:48] And then you go down to like, you know, your cycles and your trading and in just telling yourself, look at, I've been doing this a long time and it always evens out.
[00:19:55] This is just, either I made a mistake or I had some bad luck today, whatever happened.
[00:20:00] And then the other thing is going down into the trades, it's like, well, why did it happen?
[00:20:04] You traded too big because you wanted to make up for something a few weeks ago, or you're frustrated because you're not getting enough time to do your job.
[00:20:11] So you forced some trades in your shorter term account, which is not really your focus right now and things like that.
[00:20:17] And then I don't get as angry because I realized that it's just an emotional reaction to a bigger problem.
[00:20:22] And then I have to fix that problem.
[00:20:23] And then I think going less unconscious over time, as you get, you develop, you get better at not doing that.
[00:20:29] And you could say, oh, well, you're a professional.
[00:20:31] You should never do that.
[00:20:32] Well, everyone does that.
[00:20:33] It, you just do it less and you do it smaller and you, you do the good things more and you do the good things bigger.
[00:20:40] It's kind of like, you just never, you're 51% over, over the, you know, instead of 50%, you're 51% on the good side.
[00:20:47] And then over time you're 65%, you're never a hundred percent.
[00:20:51] Like no one is that good.
[00:20:53] And I think people who are more disciplined and other things, they just get better at following their process.
[00:20:58] A lot of times through pain and suffering, there's not a better teacher than pain and suffering.
[00:21:02] And I wish there was, but a lot of it is just learning that about yourself.
[00:21:07] And that's why in trading, it's, that's why I don't do, here's where Brad's buying.
[00:21:12] Here's where he's selling.
[00:21:13] Like, of course we could hang out over time and analyze breakouts, sell-offs, stocks that are going up and figure out better ways to enter and exit.
[00:21:22] You can definitely do that and get help on that.
[00:21:24] But the real stuff is this stuff about managing, handling your emotions, managing your lifestyle.
[00:21:30] Because when you do that, you're not unconscious or you're centered, whatever you want to say.
[00:21:35] And when you're centered, you do what you want to do according to your plan, which means you eventually are going to start making money.
[00:21:40] So getting in that state more means more money, more success.
[00:21:44] And that's really the job because learning stuff from people is, you can learn stuff and pivot and learn other things when you're struggling.
[00:21:54] But when you're unconscious, it's like my mentor I used to have, Dave Ellis, used to tell me, he'd see me plotting my trades for hours on a bad day.
[00:22:02] And I have all this red and blue ink, just a shit day.
[00:22:06] And he's like, why don't you just throw that away and come in tomorrow?
[00:22:09] Because it's great that you're working hard plotting your trades every day.
[00:22:12] But when you're unconscious and you blew up and started just trading, and that's why your day is really bad, when you plot those trades, you're not going to learn anything from that.
[00:22:20] It's like watching yourself in an argument with someone when you're in that state where you lose your mind.
[00:22:25] So it's beating yourself up for no reason.
[00:22:28] And I learned to stop doing that.
[00:22:30] And I'm on a tangent, but I'm going to add in another piece.
[00:22:35] Roger Federer, the tennis player, was a racket throwing kind of tantrum type personality when he was younger.
[00:22:41] And he stopped doing that.
[00:22:43] And his career really took off.
[00:22:45] I was reading his book and he said that he learned that you didn't need to always be beating yourself up, smashing rackets.
[00:22:50] And he felt like, if I don't hold myself to this high standard of perfectionism, I'm not going to learn from my mistakes and I'm not going to do well.
[00:22:58] It's actually the opposite.
[00:22:59] It's that when you start to forgive, love yourself, understand yourself like you would a good friend, but to yourself, which is really hard to do.
[00:23:08] When you start doing that, your success goes way up.
[00:23:10] And I know that's what everyone wants to hear because they want to learn how to buy the next best thing.
[00:23:14] But it really becomes those things.
[00:23:16] But then that aspect also calms down.
[00:23:21] Yeah.
[00:23:22] Like I'm dealing with that to a certain degree, right?
[00:23:25] Like lately my hormones have been kind of challenging for me, for all of us.
[00:23:31] And I feel like it's been, it works better on the inside to go in and recognize these parts that are coming up as valid and soothing them.
[00:23:44] Being kind to them rather than repressing and rejecting, right?
[00:23:48] Like rather than making it wrong.
[00:23:49] And the funny thing is, is we can even see these patterns showing up in our oldest son.
[00:23:54] Like when he doesn't do a drawing perfectly or when he, you know, like gets mad at one of us, he gets mad at himself.
[00:24:01] He starts saying, ah, you know, I'm stupid.
[00:24:05] And, you know, he's only five and he's already like having this internal battle.
[00:24:10] And it's just really interesting to see that it's important for both of us to continue to like soothe and love and not make wrong these ugly things that come up.
[00:24:23] I mean, yeah, we need to repair things if we like go unconscious and yell and do things that, you know, or like outwardly express in a way that's not kind.
[00:24:33] But mirroring to him that he can love and it's not stupid for the fact that he didn't do something right, didn't do something perfect.
[00:24:44] Yeah.
[00:24:44] That goes back to some of the best traders I sat by would really embody this strong ideas, loosely held philosophy, which I love, which is I'm all in.
[00:24:55] I'm buying a ton here for this reason.
[00:24:58] And then all of a sudden I'm out or I'm short or I'm something different because it's equally.
[00:25:02] And I think I've been pretty good at being able to do that.
[00:25:04] And that's an important thing to be able to do is just quickly switch gears.
[00:25:07] If you study something really hard, it doesn't work.
[00:25:09] It's quickly switching gears to the other idea.
[00:25:11] It's not always smart to switch gears so fast, but to be able to do that.
[00:25:16] And back to your point about our son and the other things that you said is that when you find yourself able to be calm and handle it and be gentle, it just doesn't come up as much next time.
[00:25:28] And then you're centered.
[00:25:29] And when you're centered, then you make good trades, you make good decisions in life and you quickly move on to the next task and you're good.
[00:25:36] Like little kids, I mean, he's getting to be a little bit of a finicky age where this is coming up.
[00:25:41] But a lot of times little kids are really good at it.
[00:25:43] Like, like, like, yeah, that happened.
[00:25:46] And now I'm over it.
[00:25:47] And if we as adults, we lose that.
[00:25:49] If we get that back, we get so much more success.
[00:25:52] You're right.
[00:25:53] It makes me think of, um, makes me think of Arnold Schwarzenegger.
[00:25:57] And when we watched his, uh, documentary, we were both impressed that he, the bad shit he could just let go of and he wasn't repressing it, but he was moving forward.
[00:26:08] And you're just like, and you're, you know, thinking back to a trader specifically in a Dan that you're thinking of.
[00:26:16] And these people who could hold things lighter, uh, have a lot more success.
[00:26:21] They're not putting these boulders on the inside that are weighing them down in so many ways.
[00:26:27] Yeah.
[00:26:28] I think that's, it's just having a loose grip on everything and not squeezing too tight.
[00:26:34] And you'll know when you need to make a big move, you'll, you'll just make the big move.
[00:26:39] Another thing I learned from, um, Dave Ellis, who was a mentor, the owner of the firm I was at Chicago was to, if you stay clean and this is for life too, but if you stay clean and don't get dirty with the pigs and play in the mud, you'll just catch the big stuff.
[00:26:53] It'll just, it'll just flow to you.
[00:26:55] And I think a lot of us miss trades or struggle because we're staying, we're over trading.
[00:27:01] We're trying to trade every move when we've been successful.
[00:27:04] And that causes a clutter, psychological clutter, um, paperwork execution, clutter.
[00:27:09] And that clutter starts to cloud our brain and we become less centered.
[00:27:14] And then the idea that we really want or the trade for us, we either trade it small or we screw it up because we've done a lot of collateral damage to ourselves.
[00:27:23] It's almost like you can't trust the inner voice when you're doing so many things.
[00:27:26] And it's kind of back to that having silence, but this is another part of that.
[00:27:32] Yeah.
[00:27:34] We should probably wrap it up before we get too long, but I feel like we could hop on another time and maybe dive deeper into like things like 2022.
[00:27:41] And yeah, let's do this for today.
[00:27:44] Yeah.
[00:27:45] Sounds good.
[00:27:45] Cool.
[00:27:46] Well, um.
[00:27:47] Um.